Real Connection
With new advances in social networking, people are connecting with others multiple times throughout the day, finding long-lost friends from high school, and building communities with hundreds of people through their computers. We can track someone’s every move as they tweet on Twitter and join groups of our interest on Facebook. We can have complete conversations on our cell phones without even talking and can send email replies from virtually anywhere. The world is at our fingertips, details of others lives are readily accessible, and community is all around us. So why are so many people lonely? Why are we still craving connection?
Bonding between humans is one of the most unique phenomenons in our world. We crave the love, attention, and approval of others. We always have and we always will. Yet technology has made connection digital and we can now connect without really connecting. We can talk without using our voice, hug without touching, and receive gifts that don’t require opening. Our world has become virtual, but our needs have remained the same.
As a therapist, I can appreciate the world of technology and social networking. However, I am also concerned about the necessity of real connection. Meeting face to face with friends, receiving hugs from loved ones, and using your voice to speak are all vital pieces of human growth and development. I’m not saying that being a part of a community on Facebook or Twitter is unhealthy. I actually think they have their advantages in the right context. But, I do believe that human connection in the physical, not virtual, sense is necessary. Below you will find suggestions to increase your connection with others in a real and fulfilling manner.
1. Instead of texting a friend while in a meeting, wait until you have available time to call that friend and speak over the phone. I realize this is more time consuming, but you may enjoy hearing your friend’s voice.
2. Take time each month and meet a friend for dinner, coffee, shopping, or simply relaxing. Be intentional about hearing their struggles and triumphs in life. Share yours. You probably have many in common.
3. Eat lunch with someone from your office. Instead of taking time to finish work or write emails while you eat, find someone to speak with over lunch. You deserve the break and connecting with people in your office may make your job more enjoyable.
4. Send cards and letters to friends and family, even for no reason. Let someone else know that you care.
The impact you can make on others by taking the time to connect is incredibly powerful. Leaving someone a post on Facebook or Tweeting to your friends is also connection, but something unique happens when you put away your computer and begin seeing people face to face. The relationships you invest in will increase your satisfaction and worth in life and you will begin to realize that the non-technological world is quite interesting.
Written By: Kristie Watts
Kristie has her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy and is passionate about relational health, personal growth, and empowerment of individuals, couples, and families. Her desire is to reach couples, families, and individuals in the Indianapolis, IN area through the writing and practice of Marriage and Family Therapy. Indianapolis counseling services offer tools to help.
Self-esteem refers to how you think and feel about yourself. These are thoughts and feelings a person may have, may it be positive, negative, or mixed --- about one's self. The more positive these thoughts and feelings are, the higher your self-esteem will be and conversely the more negative these thoughts and feelings are, the lower your self-esteem will become. 